Winter Solstice: Embracing the darkness
This is a time to go inward and a time to bear witness. Enjoy the longest night of the year.
I’ve always been a creature of the night. It might be due to the fact that the moon plays a prominent role in my chart, and this year she combines/combined with the power of Mars in a way that has sparked something deep within me, in the catacombs of my heart: a small flame that I thought had long been extinguished.
I have a lunar placement that often receives compliments when I share it. Generally, I roll my eyes. I can explain the significance of this placement to others, but I’ve never understood it within myself until this year when both the Moon and Mars were activated by profection. Instead of giving in solely to one or the other, I allowed myself to be consumed by both energies.
(Side note: I think this is a good example of why engaging with others about astrology and living through out the chart is just as important as gaining theoretical knowledge.)
I share all of this because I think living out my chart this year has brought me a new appreciation for the potential that exists within winter solstice. I think that our power can be found in those moments when we can bear witness to our truest selves and the nature of this is both lunar and martian (an act of care and an act of violence). I also think this can only happen when we allow ourselves to enter into our darkness and acknowledge our shadows.
When I say darkness, I mean this both metaphorically, and literally. Traditionally, Solstice as a Yule day was a celebration of the longest night of the year. The symbols and the celebrations reminded us that even through the darkness, life persisted. By marking the longest night of the year, we also mark the rebirth of the Sun who has been steadily providing less and less light per day since Summer solstice.
There are some aspects of the solstice chart that I find fascinating (this also being the exact moment the Sun moves into Capricorn).
With Leo on the Ascendant, there’s an energy here associated with empowerment and a sense of pride, but the Sun in Capricorn takes it an extra level, it’s not just about being proud today in the pleasurable sense of the word. It’s about owning your decisions and knowing that every choice is one piece of a larger puzzle.
It’s not easy to have this belief consistently, but Saturn in Pisces, sextile the Sun, serves as an unbiased reminder that we are made up of our past, present, and future selves. There is no moving forward and making changes without accepting that at your core, you are the person who made every previous decision that led to this precise moment. It is only through the accepting of the ugly and the beautiful— of the painful and the pleasureable— as equally necessary, that we can move forward in a meaningful way.
How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?
Now that it's done
There's not one thing that I would change
My life was a storm, since I was born
How could I fear any hurricane?If someone asked me at the end
I'll tell them put me back in it
Darling, I would do it again,
Sometimes, this comes easily, but for most of us (given that there exist very few people who haven’t made massive mistakes) it’s not simple. It’s a difficult and longstanding process. It’s the perpetual shadow work and the perpetual staring in the mirror and saying, “Whatever choices I regret are done, and all I can do is swear to never find myself at the brink of making those same mistakes.”
Let’s take a look at the moon that sits at the highest point of the chart, near the midheaven, exalted. We have an opportunity to reach a sense of fullness within our inner world with the guidance of Venus. With Venus as the dispositor for the Moon, that’s where we see the sense of facing our inner demons and shadows. She sits at the midnight of the roots of the chart, in the fourth house, providing us with the power to reach our roots further, towards our spirit court and ancestors for back-up. She lends us a new lens to see ourselves through, a tool to appreciate those parts of ourselves we didn’t want to look upon.
Sometimes, I kinda feel like I'm broken
Lost my color
Or maybe somebody stole it
Gets so dark inside
I love these heavy emotionsLately
My whole world feels like it's shaking
Everything is faded, changing
I don't care they call me crazyBaby, I'm alive
My favorite part of the chart lies here as well, just two degrees away sits the Persephone asteroid (a personal favorite of mine to research) and how appropriate for this moment? The myth of Persephone and her associated asteroid is one I’ll dive into another day, in another letter, but for now, just know that I’m associating the Queen of the Underworld aspect of her with this chart.
To summarize in a more concise way:
This solstice encourages us to own our choices (Leo ASC) and reflect on them as one part of a larger game in play (Sun in Cap and Saturn in Pisces). Though it’s tough, if we want to feel emotionally full and sustained (Moon in Taurus), if we want to live from our hearts and exist as our core selves, we must first be willing to explore our shadow side (Venus in Scorpio). This, however, is not a one-and-done process. We must know that we have to return to the darkness. We also have to honor the shadow as a part of ourselves and give it room to reign over a region of our lives (Persephone Asteroid conjunction).
A Little Offering
If you’d like to accept it: I wish for you healing. I wish for you a chance to know yourself more fully and truly. I wish for you the power to acknowledge and own the active role you play in the way your life is being built.
A Mini Ritual or Honoring Practice
Tonight, if you’re able, turn off the lights, close the curtains, and embrace the darkness. Ask yourself the following questions:
What part of me do I most reject and what are they trying to tell me that I’ve refused to hear?
Who am I when I feel most alone in the world?
When I envision my future self, what parts of my past and present self do I see on their face?
When you feel content with the reflection aspect, light a single candle in front of you (any size will do) and watch the flame dance for a few moments. Ask for it to illuminate the parts of yourself that need to be seen so you can move forward in life with clarity.
Journal or create if you feel called.
Wishing you paz y amor,
V.